


This Thing Of Ours

by secretsidgenowriter



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Abduction, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Mob, Angst, Drinking, Drinking Games, Fluff and Angst, Guns, M/M, Minor Injuries, Non hockey au, Non-Graphic Violence, Smoking, grad school
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 18:07:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13793223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretsidgenowriter/pseuds/secretsidgenowriter
Summary: Sid doesn’t step any closer to him. “You waited for me.”“Think maybe you’re hungry,” the man says. He takes another drag and blows smoke into the night sky. Sid’s transfixed by the long line of his neck when he tips his head back. “Think maybe you come eat with me.”Sid sticks his hands in his pockets and shakes his head. “I don’t have dinner with guys that smoke.”The man raises an eyebrow and drops the cigarette to the pavement. He puts it out with the toe of his shoe.“Just quit.”





	This Thing Of Ours

“What time you get off?”

Sid stops and blinks at the man across the bar from him.

He’s heard this line dozens of times before. Usually if he doesn’t answer right away it’s followed by _how about thirty seconds before me_ with a wink and a grin.

But now the moment breathes and stretches, the full glass of whiskey sweating in his hand.

The man has a twenty pinched between his middle and index finger but makes no move to hand it over in exchange for the drink. Instead he waits for Sid to move first.

Sid needs to move. The bar is always packed on Friday nights and there’s are a half a dozen customers trying to get his attention. Customers mean tips and tips mean an easier path to paying rent and he should put the drink down and take the money and just _go._

But he’s stuck staring at this man- in a suit that stretches across his shoulders and looks far too expensive for a college bar. His hooded eyes and full lips.

“I’m working,” he says and then winces.

“Yes.” The man's lips curve into a smile. “Is why I ask.”

“Eleven,” Sid says. “But it might be later if it’s still busy.”

The man nods and puts the twenty down on the bar. He slides it towards him and plucks the glass from Sid’s hand, and then slides off the bar stool and disappears into the crowd.

Two men in suits follow him. Impossibly, they’re even taller than he is.

Sid grabs the money off the bar and pockets it as a woman pushes her way into his eye line and asks for a Corona.

Sid gets off his shift at eleven thirty five.

His feet hurt and there’s beer staining the edge of his black t-shirt and he steps out into the parking lot and tips his head up towards the sky. Summer is still clinging to the city and the humidity in the air makes his shirt stick to his back.

The stars aren’t visible with all the lights but he feels like if he looks hard enough the can pretend he’s back home with nothing but wide open sky above him and ice beneath his feet.

He takes a deep breath and drags in a lungful of stale cigarette smoke.

When he looks around the man from the bar with the whiskey and the twenty _and the shoulders and the eyes and the mouth_ is leaning against a black town car. There’s a cigarette dangling between his fingers and when he raises it to his lips the end glows bright orange.

Sid doesn’t step any closer to him. “You waited for me.”

“Think maybe you’re hungry,” the man says. He takes another drag and blows smoke into the night sky. Sid’s transfixed by the long line of his neck when he tips his head back. “Think maybe you come eat with me.”

Sid sticks his hands in his pockets and shakes his head. “I don’t have dinner with guys that smoke.”

The man raises an eyebrow and drops the cigarette to the pavement. He puts it out with the toe of his shoe.

“Just quit.”

“I don’t have dinner with guys that litter either.”

The man looks exasperated but bends down and picks up the crushed cigarette. “If I throw away,” he says, “you come have meal with me?”

“I don’t even know your name.”

He holds out his empty hand and says “Can call me Zhenya.”

Sid takes his hand. It feels like it completely disappears in Zhenya’s larger one.

“We go eat now?”

“You don’t want to know my name?”

“I want to know anything you want to tell me,” he says and Sid pulls his hand away.

“I’m Sid.” He stops and looks Zhenya over, alarm bells ringing in his head. “There’s a diner three blocks from here that’s still open.”

Zhenya smiles and opens the car door behind him but Sid shakes his head. He’s stupid but he’s not crazy. He’s not getting in a car with a stranger, no matter how charming and handsome he might be.

“Walking is fine.”

Zhenya sighs and taps on the drivers side window and a second later both the driver and passenger door open and the men from earlier step out.

“Sid, is Jamie,” he says as he gestures to the taller of the two. “And Ryan.”

Sid nods to them both and they stare at each other until Ryan claps his hands.

“Are we eating or what?”

-

Jamie and Ryan stay a half a block behind them as they walk.

Zhenya stays on the side closest to the street and walks a half a step ahead of Sid and opens the door for him so Sid can step in first.

Zhenya puts his hand lightly on the small of his back and leads him to a booth in the back where he slides in across from him so he’s facing the door.

Zhenya smiles to the waitress when she drops off the menus then flicks his eyes towards the door as the bell rings and nods.

When Sid looks over his shoulder he sees Jamie and Ryan in a booth across the diner. They’re positioned just right so that Ryan has a visual on the door and Jamie can watch the two of them.

“You know what you want,” Zhenya asks, eyes cast down to the laminated menu.

Sid looks at him and has no idea.

-

Zhenya gets a cheeseburger and a side salad.

Sid gets french toast and home fries and feels no shame when Zheyna eyes the way he smothers the potatoes with ketchup.

“What,” Sid asks and Zheyna shakes his head, amusement written all over his face. “So, what do you do?”

Zhenya holds the fork to his mouth. “What do I do?”

“Yeah. For a job.” Sid points with his own fork to his suit. “I’m assuming you have a job.”

“I’m.” He pauses and runs his tongue over his teeth. “I’m in business.”

Sid narrows his eyes.

“What about you?”

Sid scoops a pile of potatoes into his mouth. “I bartend.”

Zhenya raises his eyebrows like he knows there’s more. He’s right.

“Bartending helps pay for classes.”

“You still in school? Still so young.”

“Grad school, part time.” Sid says and Zhenya nods.

“What do you want to do?”

“Sports medicine.”

“Ah. Lots of opportunities in Pittsburgh.”

“That’s the idea.”

“You want to stay?”

“I’d like to but I’ll go anywhere for a job. Except California. Or Florida.”

“You don’t like sunshine?”

“I like the snow,” he says.

“Understand. Lots of snow where I’m from. But Miami is nice.”

“I’ve never been.”

“Maybe I take you sometime.”

Sid huffs a laugh “Okay,” he says sarcastically and Zhenya nods and says “ _okay.”_

Zhenya finishes his meal first, but Sid doesn’t feel rushed.

He eats slowly and sneaks glances at Zhenya with one arm stretched over the back of the booth and the other resting on the table, his hand tented over the rim of his coffee cup.

When he finally pushes the plate away Zhenya asks him if he wants dessert while the waitress makes her way over. Sid shakes his head and instead of asking for the check Zhenya says “slice of of apple pie, please. Warm with ice cream.”

“Very American of you,” Sid says and Zhenya smirks.

“Is my second home now, you know? Nice to fit in.”

The waitress brings the plate with two forks and when Sid picks up one of them Zhenya bats it down with his own.

“You said you didn’t want.”

Sid shrugs one shoulder and works the fork loose. He looks Zhenya right in the eyes as he spears a bite of pie and brings it to his mouth.

Zhenya’s eyes widen as the tines disappear between his lips and his mouth parts when Sid slowly pulls it out.

Sid chews and he clears his throat , and Zhenya swallows hard, his adam’s apple bobbing up and down.

Sid has a paper to write and class the next morning. He doesn’t know Zhenya at all and there’s nothing about this situation that’s smart or safe but still…

“If I take you home,” he says and Zhenya twitches as Sid tips his head towards Jamie and Ryan. “Do they have to come watch?”

Zhenya puts his hand up to call for the check and says “they wait in the car.” He reaches into his jacket pocket for his wallet.When his arm lifts up Sid catches a glimpse of a holster stretching across his shoulders and the flash of a gun.

Sid freezes in the booth as Zhenya pulls a fifty dollar bill out of his wallet and hands it to the waitress without even looking at the check.

He must see the wary look on Sid’s face because he slowly puts his wallet back into his pocket, telegraphing the movements like he’s trying not to scare him. He doesn’t look away from Sid as he waves off the waitress when she says she’ll be back with change.

“Sid,” he says and Sid shakes his head and pushes himself out of the booth.

“This is…I need to go home, alone.”

“Sid, can explain.”

“It’s okay. You don’t need to. It’s your business and you don’t need to tell me. But I think this was a mistake.”

“Sid.” Zhenya reaches across the table for his wrist but immediately lets him go when Sid tries to pull away. “Is just for protection.”

“I thought that’s what you had the goons for.”

“Goons?”

They both look over at Ryan and Jamie. Ryan is flicking sugar packets at Jamie and Jamie is knocking them down while he drinks his coffee.

“Come on,” Ryan says and Jamie smiles over the rim of his mug.

“They’re drivers,” Zhenya says.

“You need two drivers? You need _two_ huge drivers?”

“Sid.”

“I’m going to go.” He pushes himself out of the booth and ignores the pained look on Zhenya’s face. This man is a stranger. He can’t feel sorry about this. “Thank you for dinner. Have a nice night.”

Sid turns and hears footsteps behind him.

Jamie and Ryan tense as he walks by, but Zhenya must tell them to stand down because they relax back into their seats.

The blast of mid-winter wind steals the the air from his lungs as soon as he steps through the door.

“Please,” Zhenya says from behind him and Sid rolls his eyes but turns around. “You can leave right now and I’ll never bother you again. Promise. You turn away and I’ll never try to talk to you again.”

It’s like Sid’s feet are glued to the sidewalk. He can’t move. He doesn’t want to.

“My job,” Zhenya says as he steps closer, “my _business,_ is dangerous sometimes. Sometimes I need extra help. Security.”

“What do you do?”

“Is best if you don't know. Not something that will…” He stops and presses his lips together. “Keep my personal and professional life separate. It won’t ever touch you.”

“Is it illegal,” Sid asks and then when Zhenya hesitates he adds “don’t lie.”

“Yes. Most of it.”

Sid nods. “I have to get home,” he says and Zhenya looks down at his feet. “I get out of work earlier tomorrow,” he says and Zhenya’s head snaps up. “Ten thirty.”

-

Zhenya is leaning against the car again when Sid gets out of the bar.

He’s holding a piece of gum and when Sid steps close he pops it into his mouth.

“No cigarette tonight?”

“Tell you I quit.”

“Just like that? I don’t think it’s supposed to be that easy.”

“Handsome man tells me to do something and I do it.”

“I’ll remember that,” Sid says, “are we going to eat?”

“I thought maybe we’d drive this time.”

Sid shakes his head. “Not yet.”

Zhenya gives him a flat look then taps on the window so Jamie and Ryan can follow.

Dinner dates after work become a regular occurrence.

It’s not hard to find safe things to talk about. Zhenya is filled with story after story about growing up in Russia and his parents and brother. About how slow he was to adjust when he first came to America.

Sid feels his like his own stories of growing up in a small Canadian town and coming to Pittsburgh for college pale in comparison, but Zhenya always listens intently and asks him question after question.

Zhenya remembers his mother’s name and asks how Taylor is doing and leans his chin on his fist and listens to Sid go on and on with a fond smile on his face.

It’s hard to not ask Zhenya about what he does during the day, how he spends his time and how he’s always in a new suit each time Sid sees him and how he can afford to leave their waitress at 200% tip night in and night out.

But Zhenya is perfect; he’s funny and sweet and kind and seems to genuinely care for Sid in a way that Sid’s not used to.

He’s afraid any extra information he finds out about him will ruin it.

He doesn’t want to kick the hornet's nest. Why should he go looking for trouble when Zhenya told him not to?

Plus it’s not like they’re serious. They’re having fun.

But maybe not as much fun as Sid would like to be having.

Three weeks after they first met Sid comes out of the bar to see the three of them leaning against the car.

Zhenya smiles when he sees him and stands up straight. “You ready to go?”

“Do you want to go somewhere else tonight,” Sid asks. “Your pick.”

Zhenya reaches behind him for the door handle and pulls it open then taps on the roof to get Jamie and Ryan’s attention.

“Going for a drive,” he says and Sid catches the look they throw each other.

“In the car, out of the car, in the car,” Ryan mumbles as he walks around to the drivers side. He nods at Sid and says “good evening, Mr. Crosby. How was work?”

“Just Sid is fine,” he says as he climbs into the back seat.

Zhenya walks around to the other side instead of having him shuffle over. He briefly leans between the front seats before he sits back and Ryan pulls the car out of the spot.

“You’ll like this place, Sid,” he says as he reaches for Sid’s hand. “Been wanting to take you here for awhile.”

When the car pulls up outside the restaurant Sid immediately regrets his decision.

Jamie gets out with the two of them and Ryan pulls away to find parking while Sid digs his heels into the sidewalk. He’s read about this place online. It’s one of Pittsburgh’s newest and most expensive restaurants; it’s the kind of place he rolls his eyes at for charging six hundred dollars for a bottle of wine and put gold leaf on their cheesecake.

It’s the kind of place he says he never wants to go to but also secretly would love to be taken to.

It’s too expensive. Too ritzy.

He’s not important enough for this.

“Zhenya. I can’t.”

Zhenya holds onto his hand as Jamie opens the door. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t….look at me.” He gestures down to his jeans and beat up winter coat. Beneath that is a sweaty t-shirt. “There has to be a dress code.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Zhenya says but Sid doesn’t budge. “Listen, Sid, you look great.”

Sid laughs. “No I don’t.”

“You do. Trust, Sid. No one will give you hard time. And if they do-.”

“You’ll have them taken care of?”

It’s supposed to be a joke but Sid can see the way Zhenya’s eyes cloud over even if just for a moment. He pats the back of Sid’s hand and tucks it against the crook of his arm.

“Come,” he says, “time to eat.”

Inside the hostess’s eyes widen when she sees Zhenya but she quickly recovers and grabs two menus.

“Mr. Malkin, we’ve been wondering when we’d see you.”

“Very busy,” Zhenya says as he puts his hand on Sid’s back. “Very important.”

“I see,” she says with a smile. “We have your table all ready for you if you’d just follow me.”

“After you,” Zhenya says to him and Sid follows the hostess through the restaurant with Zhenya a constant presence at his back.

Men in suits and women in shiny dresses look up at them as they walk and Sid feels like turning and running and telling Zhenya I told you so until he realizes they’re not looking at him.

With Zhenya walking behind him, it’s like Sid doesn't even exist, and he has no idea if it’s who he is or the air that he gives off but he easily captures all of the attention in whatever room he’s in. But when they get to the table and Zhenya smiles softly as he pulls out Sid’s chair, that’s just for him; It’s like the rest of the world disappears.

Their table is in an elevated section of the restaurant and they have a overhead view of the other patrons as well as the front entrance and the doors to the kitchen. Sid does a sweep and quickly finds Jamie and Ryan a few tables away pointing to something on the menu.

“Sidney?”

He looks up at Zhenya who is holding the drink menu and the hostess who is still standing beside their table.

“Okay with wine or you want something else,” Zhenya asks and Sid glances down at the menu in front of him. He can’t make sense of the words or the numbers after them. “Can have a cocktail instead,” Zhenya suggests and Sid wants to laugh.

The last drink he had was a cosmopolitan at the bar because the customer decided to change her order after he already made it and it seemed like a waste to dump it out.

“I don’t know,” Sid says. “I don’t-.” He pauses and shoves his fingers through his hair. This is all too much all of the sudden. He likes Zhenya, a lot, but they haven't even kissed yet and he’s brought him here and he’s afraid this is all part of a promise Sid hasn’t decided to make yet.

“Why don’t we start with a bottle of Gaja Barbaresco,” Zhenya says slowly and Sid scans the menu while the hostess says “excellent choice, Mr. Malkin, your server will be right with you.”

“That was a two hundred bottle of wine,” Sid hisses and Zhenya waves a hand and picks up the dinner menu.

“Is nothing.”

“But you know that it actually is, don’t you? All of this. There is nothing on this menu under thirty five dollars. And for that you only get an appetizer.”

“What is the problem?”

“The problem,” Sid huffs, “is that I’m not really looking for a sugar daddy.”

Zhenya purses his lips and his eyes dart to the tables to the left and right of them.

No one has heard or they’re just being polite about it. Or perhaps they’re too afraid to react. Sid really has no idea how far reaching Zhenya’s power is.

“Not trying to be that, Sid.” “But you’re about to spend all this money on me. You have been spending money on me. All those nights at the diner…”

“Is the only time I get to see you. Happy to pay whatever to spend time with you.”

“And now?”

“Now I want to spend time with you here.”

Sid frowns and Zhenya continues.

“Been wanting to come here for awhile, you say let’s go somewhere else, and now here we are. Is simple. Not trying to buy _you_ , Sid, just buy you a meal.”

“But I can’t afford to take you to places like this, so what am I supposed to give you in return?”

Zhenya blinks at him. “Nothing.”

“But that’s not fair.”

“For who?”

“You.”

“Sid.” Zhenya puts the menu down and reaches across the table for his hand. “I see you in bar I think _I want to get to know._ Now I am. I have money, I can’t change that. I like to spend money on people I care about.” He looks down at their joined hands and rubs his thumb across Sid’s palm. “I don’t have a lot of people I care about,” he says quietly. “Don’t need anything back from you. Nothing you don’t want to give.”

“And if I never want anything more?”

Zhenya smiles sadly. “Like you a lot, Sid. Think you’re sweet and kind and funny and beautiful. I want- I would like everything with you. But if you don't then you don’t. Is okay. Won’t say no to you being my friend.”

Sid nods as their waiter steps up to the table with their bottle of wine and glasses.

“I want to though,” he says as the waiter pours their wine.

Zhenya’s eyes widen and he takes a deep breath.

“I just wanted you to know. I want everything too.”

Zhenya thanks the waiter then picks up his glass and swirls it. He’s smiling as he says “should try, Sid. Is sweet. You’ll like.”

Sidney has crab ravioli with mascarpone and artichokes and roasted peppers and Zhenya has scallops with bacon apple risotto and fingerling potatoes deep fried in duck fat.

“No ketchup,” he says as feeds Sid off his fork over the table.

By the end of the meal Sid has the tip of his shoe halfway up Zhenya’s shin.

Zhenya’s cheeks are pink when the waiter asks if they want dessert and after catching Sid’s heated look he asks for two slices of cheesecake to go.

In the car Sid sits close to him, belly full of good wine and food and he’s bubbling over with excitement for what’s about to happen.

He balances the plastic container with their cheesecake in it on his lap and holds Zhenya’s hand.

He traces his long fingers with his own and imagines them wrapped around his hips and his upper arms and curving around his jaw.

Zhenya lets his hand be held and presses kisses into Sid’s hair until the car slows to a stop.

When Sid looks out the window he’s shocked to find them outside of his own apartment building.

“How do they know where I live?”

“They’re paid to know every street in Pittsburgh,” Zhenya says and holds his hand out to the open door once Jamie opens it.

Sid reaches for Zhenya’s hand, making a grabby motion as he whispers something to Jamie who nods and gets back in the car.

Zhenya laces their fingers together as Sid asks if he told them to go home.

“There’s no point in them waiting out there, is there? You’re pretty safe in my apartment.”

Zhenya doesn’t say anything as Sid leads him through the lobby and into the elevator. It’s a short trip up to the fourth floor and down the hall and when Sid opens the door Zhenya holds him by the wrist.

“What,” Sid asks, and he frowns at the look he sees on Zhenya’s face. “You’re not coming in, are you?”

“Late,” Zhenya says and Sid leans back against the door frame. “Think maybe you’re a little drunk.”

“I think I’m just happy,” Sid answers and Zhenya smiles and fulfills one of Sid’s fantasies when he holds his palm to the side of Sid’s neck and kisses him, soft and sweet. Sid’s eyes stay closed when he pulls away. “You’re not coming in for cheesecake?”

“You keep,” Zhenya says. “Deserve.”

Sid pulls him in by the lapels of his jacket and kisses him again. “Can I eat the gold leaf,” he asks and Zhenya laughs and kisses his forehead.

“Have a good night, Sid. See you later.”

Sid watches him walk down the hall and into the elevator then rolls off the door frame and into his apartment.

He pops open the container and grabs a fork from the silverware drawer in his kitchen.

Sid pokes at the gold leaf as he makes his way to the window overlooking the street. He gets there just in time to see Zhenya make it to the car. He leans into the drivers side window for a moment then turns around and looks up at the building.

When he spots Sid he kisses his fingertips and holds up his hand.

Sid shoves the fork in his mouth.

The sweetness of Zhenya’s gesture completely overpowers the cake.

-

Zhenya has _work_ the next night and Sid needs to study the night after that.

It’s a long and frustrating two days but finally on the third night Sid exits the bar and crosses the parking lot to where Zhenya and the boys are waiting.

“Sid,” Zhenya greets with the same warm smile as always, “where you do you want to go-.”

Sid gathers his face between his hands and kisses him before he can say anything.

Zhenya makes a surprised but pleased noise and kisses him back, hand coming up to grip at his waist and tongue pressing against the seam of his lips. He tastes like mint from the gum he chews to curb his nicotine cravings and beneath that smoke from where he gave in and Sid can’t even fault him for it, he’s trying so hard just for him.

Sid bunches his hands in Zhenya’s coat and pushes him back against the car. He is a solid line of muscle beneath his hands, of power, and the extent of what Zhenya is capable of is unknown to him. There’s another world beneath his perfectly polished suit and right now all he wants is to tear it off of him and get his hands on what’s underneath.

Sid tries to work one of his knees between Zhenya’s thighs and Zhenya lets loose a low growl from the back of his throat and suddenly Sid’s back is against the car and Zhenya is looming over him.

Vaguely, he’s aware of outside noise.

Someone whistles at them from the sidewalk.

The music gets louder inside of the bar as someone else opens the door and steps out.

Jamie is shuffling his feet against the pavement trying to keep warm and Ryan says something like _“we don’t both need to watch them make out”_ as he opens the passenger side door and climbs in.

Zhenya grabs all of Sid’s attention back when he squeezes his hips and boxes him in for another kiss, but Sid’s tired of the public foreplay. He wants more than this.

He puts the tip of his index finger in the middle of Zhenya’s chest and pushes.It’s barely any pressure but still, Zhenya steps back enough for Sid to reach behind him and open the door.

“There’s food at my apartment,” he says as he slides into the backseat. “We should go there.”

Zhenya swallows then turns his head to bark an order at Jamie before he climbs in beside Sid.

Sid waits for the car to start and for Jamie to pull out onto the street before he asks “does this thing have a divider?”

Jamie says “yes,” at the sametime Ryan says “thank god,” and presses a button so a tinted screen rolls up between the front and the back.

As soon as it hits the top Sid throws one leg over Zhenya’s lap and straddles him.

His knees did into the upholstery and he clutches at Zhenya’s shoulders, kissing him as the car turns and twists through the busy downtown streets.

Sid has no idea where they are or how far they are from his apartment as he drops his weight onto Zhenya’s lap and swallows down his moans.

“Sid.” Zhenya groans out his name as Sid kisses up and down his neck. “Sid, have to slow down. Can’t come in my pants in the with you for the first time.”

“Why not,” Sid says as he undoes the top few buttons of Zhenya’s shirt so he can have more skin to explore. “Come now and then come later.” He rolls his hips and licks a hot stripe from his collar bone to his earlobe.

He nips it between his teeth and Zhenya grips his hips and pushes him back on his thighs. “Sid, Sid, Sid.” He hangs his head and pants roughly into Sid’s shoulder. “Can’t. Have to slow down.” He pushes his head into Sid’s chest and Sid sinks his fingers into his hair and holds him. “Every other time,” Zhenya whispers, “every one is else is always so quick. So rushed. They never care.”

Sid presses his fingertips to the back of his neck and Zhenya looks up.

“Want it to matter,” Zhenya says and Sid leans forward to press a kiss to his forehead.

He slides off his lap then takes his hand and doesn’t let go of it the rest of the way to his apartment.

Sid keeps their fingers laced together as they exit the car and as Zhenya taps the roof to tell Jamie and Ryan to drive off.

“Have a goodnight, Mr. Crosby,” Jamie says and Ryan leans across him to shove his fist out the open window.

“Night, boss, have fun.”

Zhenya glares and Sid squeezes his hand until he taps his free one against Ryan’s and then he pulls him into the building.

They walk into the lobby hand in hand, then into the elevator and down the hall to his apartment.

Sid doesn’t say anything as he pulls Zhenya further into his apartment after the door shuts behind them, pausing briefly to drop his keys onto the kitchen counter before continuing on to his bedroom. He leaves the light off and the blinds open so the moonlight and the streetlights fall against the sheets as Sid pushes Zhenya down onto the bed, and Sid finally lets go of his hand in favor of working on the knot of his tie.

Zhenya ducks his head and presses a hard kiss to the side of Sid’s hand as he slides the tie out from beneath his collar.

He goes slow. He takes his time sliding his coat off his arms and the buttons from the holes on his shirt.

Sid urges him back onto his elbows so he can pull his pants and boxers off then stands back to admire the flush that bleeds down his chest, the subtle cut of his abs, and the way his hard cock curves up against his belly.

“Sid,” he says, his voice a soft whine as he sits up and grasps the back of Sid’s thighs. “Is not fair. Want to see you.”

Sid nods and steps between his knees. He pulls Zhenya’s hands off his thighs and brings them to the hem of his t-shirt.

“Take it all off me then.”

Zhenya takes a deep breath and rests his head against Sid’s stomach before he pulls the fabric over Sid’s head.

Afterwards Sid presses an ice cold glass of water to the overheated skin on the back of Zhenya’s neck.

Zhenya squirms and tries to get away from it and Sid laughs until he presses it into his hand. He is laying on his stomach with his head dangling over the foot of the bed, and his feet are propped against the headboard. He rolls over to take the glass as Sid sits beside him.

“You should sit up or you’re going to spill.”

“Already a wet spot in the bed, Sid.” He pats at Sid’s bare thigh and leaves his palm against thickest part of it. “What does it matter?”

He drinks deeply from the glass as Sid drinks in the sight of him.

The redness of his skin is fading as he calms his heart rate but the marks Sid made with his mouth and teeth on Zhenya neck and chest will take much longer to disappear.

He downs half the glass then flops back onto the bed after he hands it over to Sid.

Sid takes a drink then says “So was it good?”

Zhenya laughs and slides his palm up to his hip and then down to his knee. “Wish I still smoked, Sid. Need a cigarette right now.”

“Chew some gum.”

“Not enough Nicorette in the world,” he says. “You like?”

Sid shrugs and takes another sip. “It was okay, I guess,” he says blandly.

Zhenya pinches the soft skin of his inner thigh and Sid closes his legs, trapping his hand.

He doesn’t seem to mind much as he presses his face to the outside of Sid’s thigh.

“It was amazing.” Sid admits. He can feel Zhenya smile before he kisses his the hard bone of his kneecap.

Sid puts his hand over Zhenya’s heart and listens to him hum in approval before he slides it lower over his ribs. He counts them, one by one as Zhenya tries not to laugh at the way it tickles.

Zhenya’s skin is warm and smooth until Sid’s fingers trip over an imperfection between is sixth and seventh rib on his left side.

The scar is about the size of a nickel, indented into his skin and ghostly white.

“How’d that happen,” he asks as he touches the tip of his index finger to the middle of the taut skin.

Zhenya flinches away and sits up. He pulls his knee up to his chest to hide the mark and Sid drops his hand into his own lap.

“Is not important, Sid.”

Sid knows a lie when he hears it. He knows what this is.

At some point in his life Zhenya was shot and now he doesn’t want to talk about it.

He looks at Sid out of the corner of his eye, still hunched over on himself and says “you want me to go?”

Sid squeezes his knee and stands up. “Of course not. We haven’t even eaten yet. I told you I had food here.”

Zhenya’s face eases into a smile and the tension melts off his shoulders. “You have cold pizza.”

“I have cold pizza _or_ leftover chinese that I can heat up. Your pick.”

Zhenya hums. “Both,” he says as he starts to get up but Sid is quick to push him back down.

“Stay here. I’ll bring it in. We can eat in here.”

“Gonna get crumbs in the bed.”

“I already have to change the sheets, it’s fine.”

“Sid.”

“Just stay in my bed,” he says, “please.”

Zhenya takes Sid’s hand off his shoulder and kisses the middle of his palm. “I’ll be right here,” he says, “long as you want me.”

They eat the pizza cold and the Chinese lukewarm with their backs against the headboard and Sid’s legs over Zhenya’s lap.

They both had on their boxers but when Sid came back with the food Zhenya had also pulled on his white undershirt. Sid thinks it’s to hide the scar and god knows what else. Who knows what other scars and bruises and signs of past pain Sid would find if he really looked. He’s not sure he even wants to know.

It’s easier to think of him now, relaxing in bed with a day old eggroll in his hand and his long legs stretched out before him than it is to think of him bleeding out somewhere with a bullet wound in his side.

Sid is halfway through telling him how crazy his shift was at the bar when Zhenya’s phone rings. It’s still tucked in his suit pocket on the floor at the foot of the bed.

He puts his egg roll back into the contain with a sigh and says “should get that. Might be important.”

Sid nods and moves his legs to he can get up.

Before his eyes Zhenya seems to transform from the funny guy who was cracking jokes at Sid’s coworkers expense to something different. Something darker. His face sets and puts his shoulders back. He holds his head high as he accepts the call.

“Is Evgeni,” he says and gives Sid an apologetic smile as he turns around and walks out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

Sid can still hear his voice and his footsteps as he paces the living room but he stops trying to listen.

He’s already heard enough.

Zhenya isn’t gone long but in his absence Sid cleans up. He stacks the paper plates and plastic silverware they’ve been using on top of the empty pizza box and folds the take out containers in on themselves. He picks up Zhenya’s clothes and leaves them in a pile on the chair by the closet. He doesn’t care if they get wrinkled.

“So sorry, Sid,” Zhenya says when he comes back in. He looks at the clean bed and then to Sid who is standing with his back to him.

“Is everything okay,” Sid asks, voice carefully neutral sounding.

“Is fine.”

“Do you have to go?”

“Not until morning. Are you okay?”

Sid turns on him. “Why did you tell me your name was Zhenya when it’s not? I mean, Jamie and Ryan either call you Mr. Malkin or boss and none of the hostesses call you by your first name but you just answered the phone as Evgeni. Look, I’m trying to be okay not knowing exactly what it is you do but you straight up lie to me-.”

“Is not a lie, Sid.”

“I just heard you.”

“Is a special name. Only for some people. Like how people call you Sid.”

“I let everyone call me Sid.”

“But I don't let everyone call me Zhenya.” He steps over to Sid and puts a hand over his heart. “My name is Evgeni, but Zhenya, that is what most important people call me. People I’m closest too.”

“That’s how you introduced yourself to me. You had no idea we’d be important to each other.”

“I had hope,” he says, his eyes are soft and warm. “ _Have_ hope we’ll be important to each other.”

Sid uncrosses his arms and sighs. “Someday you’re not going to be able to charm your way out of arguments.”

“Not arguing,” Zhenya says as he leans forward to kiss his forehead. “Never argue. Loud discussion.”

Sid scoffs and pushes him away. Zhenya laughs and pulls him in.

He rests his chin on the top of Sid’s head and says “change sheets and go to sleep, okay? Is late.”

Zhenya leaves before the sun comes up.

He kisses the back of Sid’s head and then the side of his face when Sid wakes and reaches for him.

“Back to sleep,” Zhenya whispers, “didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Back to bed,” Sid whines, “it’s still dark.”

“Have an early meeting.” He rests his hand lightly on the back of Sid’s neck and Sid presses back into the touch. “Have a good day. Should come over to my place for dinner tonight. Let me host.”

Sid sighs happily, already falling back to sleep and Zhenya gives him one last kiss before he slips out of the apartment.

-

Zhenya’s apartment is large and overwhelming.

It’s easily three times the size of Sid’s and a little cold and impersonal for Sid’s taste but he can’t deny that it’s lovely- thirty six stories up and with a stunning view of the city.

Sid stands against the floor to ceiling windows and looks down at the lights that sparkle off the Monongahela.

Behind him Zhenya shakes the hand of the delivery guy and walks him to the door.

When he comes back to Sid he drapes himself against Sid’s back and kisses the side of his neck.

“Come have dinner,” he says. “You like sushi, yes?”

“I haven’t found a good place here. Where’d you get it from?”

“Sushi Saito,” Zhenya says as he pulls out Sid’s chair for him.

“I haven’t even heard of that. Where is that?”

“Tokyo,” he says as casually as he would tell him the weather.

The chair hits the back of Sid’s knees but he doesn’t sit.

“You had this flown over from Tokyo?”

“Course not,” Zhenya says and Sid finally sits down. “Would never be fresh.”

“Oh,” Sid says with a laugh as he pours himself a shot of sake. “Okay because I thought-.”

“Had chef flown in.”

“From Tokyo?”

“Wanted to impress you,” Zhenya says with a shrug but there’s color on his cheeks.

“Because your beautiful million dollar apartment wouldn’t do that?”

“Not a million dollars. But glad you like.”

Sid likes the apartment but he loves the waterfall shower head and the eight hundred thread count sheets on Zhenya’s bed.

“I’m never leaving,” he mumbles, naked and relaxed in Zhenya’s arms.

Zhenya brushes his lips across his forehead and tightens his hold on him. “Whatever you want,” he says, “stay forever.”

-

They must go to every restaurant in the city.

Every night it’s something different, something more expensive than the last and each time the two of them breeze past the rest of the diners to a reserved table.

Sid drinks wine and eats lobster and at the end of the night Zhenya pays for the check and takes Sid’s hand.

But still, there are nights where Zhenya greets him with a tired smile and says “need a burger, Sid,” and they back to the diner where it all started.

Zhenya whines as grease drips down his arms and onto the sleeve of his dress shirt while Sid laughs and steals another fry off his plate, dunking it in ketchup before popping it into his mouth.

Every night ends the same way, with Zhenya pressing kiss after kiss against his skin behind closed doors.

Weeks pass and the weather gets cold. Zhenya trades in his navy blue and tan suits in for black and charcoal grey.

He picks Sid up at the bar every night and Sid huddles close to Zhenya for warmth in the back seat as the city passes by in a flash of bright lights.

On a chilly night in December Sidney drinks mulled wine and picks at a fresh blood orange tart that has just the right amount of sugar without being overly sweet and just _breathes._

He should be worrying about a dozen different things right now. Paying the rent and finding a job and the future.

He’s never felt like this before. Even when he was a kid he always found something to focus on, something to tear him apart.

But now, he feels like the world could end tomorrow and Zhenya would still be there telling him it’s going to be okay and that he can fix it.

He feels safe and secure and as he looks around the terrace at the glances that the other patrons are throwing at him he realizes that he’s envied.

These people want to be him, or, at the very least, want to be sitting where he is.

They want to be holding Zhenya’s hand across the table with their feet tangled together beneath it.

“I like it.”

Zhenya hums and squeezes his hand.

“I like being taken care of.”

Zhenya looks up from his creme brulee with raised brows. “Should have told me sooner, Sid.”

It starts with a watch.

The box says _Cartier_ and it feels heavy and expensive in his hands before he opens it.

“Very strong,” Zhenya says as he lifts it out and fastens the leather band around Sid’s wrist. “Very reliable.” He holds up his own wrist next to Sid’s. “Like mine.”

The watches don’t match but they go together, almost as if they were designed to be part of a set.

Sid leans up and kisses him as a thank you.

Zhenya buys him a new phone.

Sid hands over his old one and ten minutes later Zhenya returns with the latest Iphone already set up with all his contacts and pictures.

Later, when he scrolls through to find Zhenya’s number he finds a little red heart by his name that wasn’t there before and Sid has to take a moment to simply hold the phone over his chest before he presses the call button.

There’s a wallet made of leather so soft it feels like butter and a new pair of sunglasses that Zhenya hangs over the neckline of Sid’s tee when he first gives them to him.

When Zhenya needs to leave early in the morning Sid wakes up to find individually wrapped chocolates on the pillow beside him and his favorite breakfast still warm in the oven.

He gets them box seats for a Pens game and then after when the rest of the fans have left Zhenya leads him down to the ice and hands him a pair of skates and a stick that have been left on the bench.

“Should be your size,” Zhenya says as he sits down and takes off his shoes.

“Are you serious?”

Zhenya pulls on his left skate and shrugs. “If you’re afraid you’re going to lose then you can sit and watch. Is up to you.”

It’s the right thing to say and Sid shoves his way onto the bench, pushing Zhenya down to make room for himself so he can kick off his shoes.

They skate circles around each other playing keep away with a puck until Zhenya pushes him very gently against the glass and presses their hips together.

“You’re just trying to distract me because you’re losing,” Sid says and Zhenya rolls his eyes but snatches the puck away and skates towards center ice. “How did you even make this happen,” he asks as he trails after him.

Zhenya turns and skates backwards. He passes Sid the puck and Sid swats at it lazily. “Have friends here and I said I needed a favor.”

“Just like that?”

Zhenya stops suddenly and Sid skates into him. Zhenya grabs his arms to steady him then pulls him close. “I tell them I meet someone who is very important to me that likes to skate. I know he hasn’t in awhile, can you help me? Just like that. You having fun?”

Zhenya’s face is flushed but his lips are cool when Sid kisses him.

Sid stands in the middle of an empty department store and gets fitted for a suit.

Zhenya rented it out and brought in his own personal tailor to help with the fitting.

“Is the only one I trust,” Zhenya says as he picks at the excess fabric at Sid’s shoulders. “Was going to just guess your measurements but-,” he sighs and drops his hand down to his side. His fingertips brush Sid’s ass and Sid swats him away. Zhenya winks and continues unphased, “better safe than sorry.”

Sid’s face burns but the tailor’s expression doesn’t shift from his focused look as he measures crown to cuff down his right arm.

Zhenya stands at his left side and looks at the two of them in the mirror. Sid’s suit is a shade darker than his but they complement each other nicely. Just like their watches. Just like the two of them.

“Going to look great,” Zhenya says softly and then immediately steps in front of Sid and hastily adds, “always look great, Sid, not what I mean.”

Sid puts his hand on Zhenya’s chest to quiet him. “I know what you mean.”

Zhenya kisses the corner of Sid’s mouth then nods to the tailor as he steps away towards the jewelry counter.

A moment later he raises his hand and calls Sid’s name and after he apologizes to the tailor for the interruption Sid joins him.

Zhenya is leaning over a case looking down at a row of diamond necklaces.

He taps his finger against the glass above one necklace then turns to ask “what do you think?” The necklace is made up of four separate bands that come together at the clasp in the back. Each band is studded with small diamonds and every few centimeters a larger diamond hangs down from it.

“Eighteen karat white gold,” the sale associate says, “eighteen diamond weight total, handcrafted in Italy.”

“It’s beautiful,” Sid says, “are you going to get it for your mom?”

“No,” Zhenya says, “for you.”

“What would I do with it?”

“Wear it.”

Sid laughs. “Yeah, alright, I’ll just throw it on and head off to work.”

“Maybe not work,” Geno says seriously and Sid stops laughing. He glances at the sale associate who doesn’t seem phased in the slightest. Maybe she’s being paid to not react. Or maybe she’s heard things like this before and she’s used to it. Either way, Sid does not have her poise and he turns his back to her and drops his voice to a whisper.

“Are you serious?”

“Think it would look nice on you is all.”

“But I can’t wear it out at all.”

Zhenya tips his head to the side, considering. “Maybe you just wear for me then,” he says and Sid drops his voice even lower.

“You’re really being serious.”

Zhenya nods and pushes the edge of Sid’s shirt back so he can trace his collar bone with the tip of his finger. “Would look very pretty.”

“And you’d be into that?”

“Would you?”

Sid takes a deep breath then swallows hard against the butterflies that are fluttering in his stomach. “Yes,” he says quietly then clears his throat and says again, “yes. I would.”

Zhenya smiles and lets his hand drift all the way down Sid’s chest before he pulls it away and catches the attention of the associate.

“We’ll take this one, please.”

She nods and unlocks the case. “Would you like this gift wrapped, sir?”

“No,” Sid answers before Geno can even open his mouth, “there’s no point. We’ll be opening it right away.”

Back at the apartment Sid hands the jewelry box to Zhenya and walks straight into the bedroom.

By the time Zhenya locks the door, hangs up his keys, and joins him Sid’s down to his boxers and sitting on the bed leaning back on his elbows and tapping his foot.

Zhenya stands in the doorway and stares at him, the box still cradled in his hands.

“Are you going to put that on me or not,” Sid asks and Zhenya almost trips over his feet to get to him.

The necklace hangs just above his heart and Sid can feel it pounding when he touches the diamonds hanging there.

“Sid,” Zhenya says, voice full of awe and Sid looks up at him through his lashes.

“Can I go see how it looks?” Zhenya nods and steps out from between his knees so Sid can get up.

He stands in front of the bathroom mirror and watches the diamonds sparkle in the light.

The necklace is beautiful and it would absolutely look great on anyone but on him…

“Look gorgeous,” Zhenya says as he steps behind him. He wraps his arms around his waist and pulls Sid back against his chest. “What do you think?”

“I feel expensive.”

Zhenya kisses the back of his shoulder. “You are very expensive.”

“But I also feel weird,” he says and Zhenya hums as he noses along the back of his neck.

“Little bit weird, too.”

Sid elbows him and Zhenya dodges it as a laugh bubbles out of his chest. Zhenya kisses him and Sid takes his hand to lead him back into the bedroom.

Sid rides him slowly.

His thighs start to burn and Zhenya is covered is covered in sweat from holding himself back from flipping him over and taking control.

Sid pays close attention to the look in his eyes and every time Zhenya runs his hands up to his hips Sid places his hand over his head and pushes him back down. When Sid leans forward to kiss him the necklace brushes against his chest and Zhenya moans into his mouth.

Sid leans back and sucks his lower lip between his teeth, a sight that makes Zhenya squeeze his eyes shut and throw his head back against the pillow.

Sid pries Zhenya’s hands off his thighs and brings them up to his chest so he can feel the necklace beneath his fingers.

“Fuck, Sid.”

“Open your eyes,” Sid says as he keeps the steady roll of his hips, “look at me.”

Zhenya groans and holds the necklace in his hands.

“That’s why you bought this for me, didn’t you, so you could look at me? You should look at me.”

Sid watches Zhenya’s throat work as he swallows and his chest expand as he takes a deep breath before he finally opens his eyes.

“God,” he whispers and Sid smiles. He feels powerful and strong even while wearing something so delicate and he pulls Zhenya’s hands away from the necklace so he can lace their fingers together.

“Tell me it looks good,” Sid says and Zhenya tries to snap his hips up, “tell me I look good.”

“Look amazing, Sid,” Zhenya breathes out. “Best thing I’ve ever seen, I’m so...you’re so.”

He bucks his hips again and this time when he tries to sit up Sid doesn’t stop him. Zhenya wraps one arm low around Sid’s waist and latches his mouth onto the side of his neck right over the hot white gold of the necklace.

“Sid, I’m so…” he trails off and wraps his hand around Sid’s cock and Sid drops his head to Zhenya’s shoulder.

He was so focused on Zhenya’s own pleasure he had no idea how close he really was.

It doesn’t take much to get him off, just a few quick strokes while Zhenya mumbles words he doesn’t understand into his ear.

Zhenya comes a few moments later, going rigid beneath him and then shuddering as Sid strokes his hands through his hair and presses lazy kisses to his temple.

Sid lifts himself off his lap but doesn’t make it very far after that because Zhenya tucks him against his side with the necklace between their bodies.

“Beautiful,” Zhenya says. “Perfect. Amazing.”

Sid hums and throws his arm around Zhenya’s waist. “It is a nice necklace.”

Zhenya rolls over to face him and rests his hand on the side of his face. “Not talking about the necklace, Sid.”

Sid tips his face into his palm and his eyes slip shut right before Zhenya kisses him.

The realization that Sid’s in love hits during the middle of his shift the next evening.

It’s unusually busy for a Wednesday night but Sid’s mind keeps shifts off the drinks that he’s preparing and right onto Zhenya.

He can’t stop thinking about him and when he thinks about him he can’t stop himself from smiling and after the fifth time one of the waitresses ask him what the hell he’s so happy about he reflexively answers with “I love my boyfriend.”

She rolls her eyes and plucks the two vodka tonics out of his hands and Sid stands there, stunned.

He’s never been in love before but he also has never met anyone like Zhenya before.

This is what he’s been waiting for.

Zhenya is everything he could ever want. He gives him everything he could ever need and it’s so much more than the watch and the necklace and the suit and the expensive dinners.

It’s the way Sid feels about him when they’re standing side by side brushing their teeth and Zhenya smiles at him in the mirror through a mouth full of toothpaste. When Zhenya is asleep next to him with his mouth slack as he snores. How he always holds his hand in the back seat of the car and always listens when Sid recaps his day.

If Sid takes the money and the gifts out of the equation he still feels just as strongly for him. Maybe even more so. Zhenya has no problem loving him without it, or at least Sid hopes he does. Zhenya is always so soft with him, so gentle. He can’t imagine it being anything other than love.

Zhenya is waiting for him outside when Sid’s shift ends just like he always is. He’s frowning down at his phone but when he hears the door close behind Sid he looks up with a smile.

Sid can’t hold it in.

He’s not going to make it until after dinner or when he’s tucked into the safety of Zhenya’s bed.

“I’m in love with you,” he says.

He’s halfway across the parking lot, the dull roar of the bar behind him and Zhenya leaning against the car in front of him.

Over his shoulder Ryan elbows Jamie, and Jamie gives the two of them a look as they slide back into the car.

Sid steps into Zhenya’s space.

“I love you,” Sid says again and Zhenya holds Sid’s face in his hands and breathes out _“love you,”_ before pressing their foreheads together.

The front window rolls down and Sid hears Ryan clapping and Jamie saying “fucking finally” and Zhenya grits his teeth and shakes his head.

“Going to fire them.”

“You can’t,” Sid says, “you need them to drive us home.”

-

Zhenya is an annoyingly good cook.

The first time he suggested that they stay in for dinner Sid was extremely skeptical.

“Can you even cook? Because I hate to break it to you but pouring salad out of a bag and popping a pizza in the oven isn’t cooking. Not that I’d be against you doing that but…”

Zhenya simply kissed his forehead and sat Sid down at the kitchen island so he’d be out of his way as he went from the fridge to the stove and back again a half a dozen times.

In the end Zhenya pulled a perfectly roasted chicken out of the oven and severed it with creamy garlic mashed potatoes and asparagus with a homemade hollandaise sauce.

“How are you this perfect,” Sid asked between bites. “You’re unreal.”

“Not perfect,” Zhenya had said with a shy duck of his head, “but the cheesecake I made for dessert might be. Very proud of it. Work on it all day just for you.”

“I’m so in love with you,” Sid had said Zhenya had laughed and hooked his foot around Sid’s ankle.

Zhenya makes pork chops one night and a hearty stew with chunks of beef and potatoes and carrots the next. There’s lasagna and pot roast and kotlety which Zhenya admits isn’t as good as his mother used to make but still leaves Sid feeling very impressed.

Staying in at Zhenya’s apartment completely replaces going out to restaurants. Sid barely even sees the inside of his own apartment except for when Jamie and Ryan drop him off in the morning so he can change into new clothes.

Tonight it was chicken and dumplings that reminded Sid of his childhood and Sid is scrubbing the pot while Zhenya frowns at his laptop in the living room.

He’s been doing that more lately as well. He seems to have more stress and tension and it takes a lot of kisses and gentle touches for Sid to work it out of him.

Sid’s trying not to be worried but he doesn’t like the deep line that settles between Zhenay’s eyebrows or the way he always seems to have his hand on his phone like he’s constantly ready to call someone.

Sid doesn’t need all of his attention all the time but it feels like there’s a distance between them even though Sid’s almost always by his side.

“Sid,” Zhenya calls and Sid leans back so he can see him. The water is still running and the sponge is soapy and wet in his hand. “Leave that. Come sit and tell me about your day.”

“There’s not much to tell,” Sid says. “It was pretty much the same as every other day.” He shuts off the water and wipes his hands on a dishtowel. “One of my friends texted me today. I haven’t heard from him in awhile which I guess is basically my fault.”

Zhenya makes a disapproving noise and Sid rolls his eyes and wipes his hand on a dishtowel before he walks into the living room.

“I’ve been pretty busy lately so it was nice to hear from him but besides that...pretty normal. I kind of had a weird thing with a customer but besides that.”

Zhenya looks over his screen. “What about customer?”

“It’s not a big deal or anything. It was just this older guy who sat in the corner pretty much all afternoon and stared at me.”

“He stared at you,” Zhenya asks as he slowly closes his laptop.

“Don’t be like that. It’s not a big deal, it happens all the time.”

“Then why was it weird? If it happens all the time then why was it weird?” “I don’t know. All he drank was soda and when he came up to the bar to settle his tab he paid with cash and and said _‘thank you Mr. Crosby’_ , that was weird.”

Zhenya’s eyes go wide as he darts his hand out to grab onto Sid’s wrist.

“Who was he?”

Sid blinks. “I don’t know.”

“What did he look like?”

Sid tries to pull his hand back but Zhenya has a tight grip. “I don’t know.”

“Did he have an accent?”

“Zhenya, what the hell?” He finally yanks his hand away and rubs at his wrist. “I don’t know. Yes. What does it matter?”

“What kind of accent?”

“I don’t know. Eastern European, I guess. Kind of like yours but he didn’t sound like you. It doesn’t even matter.”

“How did he know your last name?”

“I don’t….” Sid sighs in frustration. “I don’t know. Maybe he asked someone and they thought they were being funny. It’s really not a big deal. He was just an old, weird guy trying to hit on me. It happens all the time.”

Zhenya scowls.

“You asked me for this story so don’t think you get to act like this when I tell it.”

“You should tell me. Always tell me.”

“Why, so you can act all jealous?”

“I’m not jealous, Sid.”

Sid scoffs. “Zhenya if I told you every time someone flirts with me at the bar I’d never stop talking.”

Zhenya’s frown deepens as he sits back against the cushions. “Should quit.”

“We’ve talked about this.”

Zhenya has tried and tried but Sid will not waiver on his insistence that he pays for his own rent and tuition and that means keeping his job at the bar. He doesn't want to depend on Zhenya for that. He is still his own person.

“You shouldn’t get hit on at your job, Sid.”

“Well it worked out okay for you, didn’t?”

“That’s not fair.”

“I don’t understand why you’re acting like this.”

“You at least tell security there?”

“I didn’t think I had to. He left right away. I guess he figured out that I wasn’t interested.”

“Next time you should tell someone so they know.”

Sid stares down at him. “Is everything okay?”

Zhenya runs his hand across his face and rolls his shoulders like he’s trying to force himself to relax. “Is fine. Long day. Worry about you is all.”

“You don’t have anything to worry about. That guy had nothing on you.”

“No?”

“No. Maybe thirty years ago he could have given you a run for your money but now…”

Zhenya makes a show of closing his laptop and getting up from the couch but Sid pushes him back down and sits across his lap, knees pressed tight to either sides of his hips.

“I’m kidding,” Sid says as Zhenya heaves a sigh but gropes Sid’s ass anyways.

“Know how you say I can’t use my charm to get out of arguments? You can’t use your ass.”

Sid crosses his wrists behind Zhenya’s neck and sighs. “I’ve been doing it for months now and you’ve never complained before.”

“Was shocked it was so good. Now shock has worn off.”

“Oh really?” Sid wiggles a bit and Zhenya slides his hands up to his hips.

“Stop trying to distract me. Tell me something else, you said you talked to your friend? What did he have to say?”

“Well, actually.” Sid clears his throat and runs his fingers through Zhenya’s hair on the back of his head. “I did want to talk to you about that.”

Zhenya raises his eyebrows and waits for Sid to continue.

“He said there was a party on campus on Friday and that I should go with him and a couple of other friends.”

“College party? Like, frat party? Little old for that, no?”

“I’m still plenty young. Grad students can still go to parties and I don’t even think it’s an actual frat party. It’s just a part and it’s a lot of free alcohol and I haven’t seen my friends in a bit so…”

“Should go then,” Zhenya says as he squeezes Sid’s hips. “You think you’ll have fun then you should go.”

“I was actually thinking that we should both go.”

Zhenya sighs and Sid holds his face in his hands.

“It’ll be fun. I just told you free booze and the possibility of laughing at twenty two year olds and I think it would be nice to get out of this apartment for a night.”

“Don’t like it here?”

“I love it but I feel like I haven’t seen anything but the inside of the bar and the inside of this apartment for weeks. We used to go out all the time. I haven’t even gotten to wear my new suit.”

“You wore your new suit,” Zhenya says.

“I wore it while you fucked me against the kitchen counter. It’s not really the same thing.”

Zhenya scowls. “Going to wear your suit to a college party?”

“No, I’m just saying that we haven’t been anywhere.”

“I offered to take you on vacation last week and you said no.”

“I can’t take time off right now and you know that. Plus I don’t need a vacation I just need something new. I think you do too.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re stressed. You’ve been acting funny lately, like you’re waiting for something to go wrong. I’m starting to worry.”

“There’s nothing for you to worry about, sweetheart.”

“I don’t know if I believe you,” Sid says as he presses his thumb between Zhenya’s brow to smooth out the line. “Just come out with me for one night. Meet my friends.”

“Sid,” Zhenya starts but Sid barrels over him.

“It’s important to me,” he says and Zhenya sighs. He knows he’s playing dirty but he’s desperate. “You’re important to me and they’re important to me. I haven’t seen them in awhile and I want them to know why. I want them to know how happy you make me. They’re nice. They’ll like you.”

Zhenya looks unconvinced and Sid heaves a sigh.

“Okay, they can be assholes sometimes but they will like you. They’ll like you because I like you. Come on,” he says as he presses a feather light kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Come to a stupid frat party with me.”

“Have to tell Jamie and Ryan.”

“Leave them. Give them the night off. It’s a college party, how much trouble can we get into?” “How we gonna get there?”

“We’ll take an Uber like the rest of the ninety nine percent. I know it’s below you but-.”

Zhenya tips Sid off his lap and lies between his thighs on the couch. “Not a snob, Sid.”

“So does that mean you’re going to come with me? Meet my friends?”

“You know I always do anything you ask of me, Sid.”

“Then you should kiss me,” Sid says and Zhenya takes his time as he kisses his forehead, then the tip of his nose, and finally his lips.

-

Sid insists upon picking Zhenya up at his apartment the night of the party.

“It’s like a real date,” he explains. “You’ve take me out dozens of time. Let me have my turn. I want to meet you at your door.”

Zhenya is waiting in the lobby for him with his fingers clicking away on his phone. Sid doesn’t even have the time to be annoyed with him for not following the plan because he’s too busy laughing at him for his outfit.

“What are you wearing,” he asks and Zhenya takes a step back and looks down.

Zhenya’s wearing dress pants and dress shoes with a white button down shirt and a navy blazer.

“What,” Zhenya asks, “is casual. No tie.”

“That’s not casual. This,” he says as he gestures down to his well worn jeans and t-shirt “is casual. Come on, we’re gonna go upstairs and change. I know you have jeans up there.”

Zhenya pouts but Sid throws his arm around his waist.

“I know it’s backwards to be taking fashion advice _from me_ but trust me. You don’t want to stand out at this party, do you?”

Zhenya shakes his head.

“You’re going to stand out if you wear a suit. You want to look like a college kid, not one of the professors. You want something comfortable enough to play beer pong in.”

“Never played that before.”

Sid sighs and hits the button for the elevator. “I’ll try to go easy on you then.”

Zhenya only owns one pair of jeans and they still have the tags on them.

“Never have occasion to wear them,” he explains as Sid tosses them at him. Zhenya holds them up and frowns at the tag in the back. “Don’t even know if they fit.”

Sid eyes Zhenya’s waist then pats his stomach and Zhenya bats his hand away.

“Your fault,” he says and Sid laughs. “Have dinner every night together. Is a lot of food.”

“And then we usually work it off right away,” Sid says with a tip of his head towards the bed.

Zhenya smiles and presses his tongue against the indie of his cheek. “Going to have to work a little bit harder.”

“Squeeze into those jeans so we can go and come back then.”

Zhenya sighs but does manage to button and zip the jeans. They’re a little tight in the thighs and the ass and the temptation is there to slide them back off again.

But Sid promised his friends and after wrestling Zhenya into a plain t-shirt that Zhenya swears up and down is _only supposed to be worn under dress shirts, Sid, can’t wear this out_ , they’re ready to go.

“You look great,” Sid says in the elevator. “Really.” He steps back and looks him up and down.

Zhenya has his arms crossed over his chest and Sid takes the Pens hat off, a souvenir from when they went to the game, and fits it over Zhenya’s head. He immediately takes it off and flips it backwards and Sid barks out a laugh.

“Now you look perfect,” he says and pulls Zhenya’s hand away when he tries to take the hat off. He gently pushes him back against the wall of the elevator and kisses him. “I’m serious. You look great. Thank you for doing this.”

“Is no problem, Sid. Should be fun.”

“Were Jamie and Ryan excited to have the night off?” Zhenya clears his throat and readjusts the hat from where it shifted when the brim hit the wall. “Don’t know if they know what to do with themselves.”

“I’m sure they’ll think of something,” Sid says as his phone chimes. “Our ride is waiting for us.”

Sid and Zhenya stand on the sidewalk after the Uber pulls away and stare up at the house.

The brick building is practically shaking from the music playing and there’s a slip-and-slide set up on the front lawn even though it’s barely above freezing out.. People in various shades of undress are slathering themselves up with dish soap before they throw themselves at the slide.

Zhenya gives Sid a wary look and Sid grabs his hand and pulls him up the front steps.

It’s marginally calmer inside, at the very least no one is naked and wet and sliding down plastic.

Sid doesn’t let go of Zhenya’s hand as he weaves his way through the crowd.

“Kris says they’re all here,” he calls over his shoulder as he looks down at his phone. “But I’m not sure where.”

“Sid!”

Both their heads whip around until Sid spots Patric and Flower standing in the door of the kitchen.

Zhenya holds Sid’s hand even tighter as they continue their way through the house pausing to let drunk college kids pass in front of them.

“Feel like it’s been forever since I’ve seen you,” Flower says as he pulls Sid into a one armed hug.

“Yeah,” Sid says as he rubs the hand that Zhenya’s not holding against the back of his neck. “I’ve been a little busy doing other things.”

Flower and Patric shift their eyes to Zhenya. Patric raises his eyebrows and Flower sticks out his hand.

“You must be _other things_ ,” he says and Zhenya blushes and takes his hand.

“Funny,” Sid says dryly. “Patric, Flower, this is Zhenya.”

“Can call me Geno,” Zhenya says after a quick glance at Sid. “Is fine. Is nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, you too,” Flower says as Zhenya shakes Patric’s hand. “Phil and Carl are around here somewhere and I think Tanger has a beer pong table if you want to play.”

“I told Zhenya I’d go easy on him since he hasn’t played before,” Sid says.

“I’m not gonna make the same promise,” Flower says as he pats Zhenya on the back.

“Tanger and Flower,” Zhenya whispers to Sid as they follow Flower across the room. “Weird.”

“You have like, three different names apparently,” Sid says. “You don’t have room to judge.”

Zhenya nods. “Fair.”

Zhenya, to Sid’s delight, is terrible at beer pong. No matter what kind of advice Sid and the rest of the guys give him he can’t seem to sink a ball. It doesn’t help that Tangeris a master at it and Zhenya has to keep drinking.

“Sid,” he says around the rim of his sixth beer, “so bad at this.”

“You’ll get better. It just takes some practice,” Sid says as Tanger throws another ball into Zhenya’s cup. Sid picks up the cup to drink it for him. “I’m going to find you something besides shitty beer to drink. Maybe that’ll help.”

“It can’t hurt,” Tanger says and Sid flips him off on behalf of Zhenya as he takes a sip of the room temperature beer.

“I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll go with you,” Flower says. “Good luck, G.”

There’s a makeshift bar in the kitchen which basically consists of a cooler filled with cans of soda, beer and a few bottles of Gatorade surrounded by half empty bottles of liquor.

Sid splits a can of coke between two cups and tops them off with what’s left in the Jack Daniel’s bottle.

“So, what do you think?”

“I think that’s a weak drink,” Flower says as he upends a bottle of vodka into some Gatorade.

“I meant about Zhenya.”

“You mean _Geno?_ Why’d he tell us to call him that but you call him something else?”

“Because I’m special,” Sid says without missing a beat and Flower shakes his head. “What do you think?”

“I think I want to make fun of you for that but you look so happy I can’t bring myself to do it. Geno seems great. I haven’t really got a lot out of him because he’s been so busy trying not to suck at beer pong but he seems cool.”

“He’s having fun,” Sid says, “I’m glad.”

“So what’s he like?”

Sid takes a drink from his cup. “He’s rich,” he says.

“I kind of figured.”

“How’d you know?”

“That watch doesn’t look cheap and I saw your phone. No way you’d spend that much money on yourself and those aren’t really gifts you buy for someone you haven’t been seeing for that long unless money isn’t an issue.” He taps his shoe against Sid’s. “Plus those shoes don’t look cheap and I’ve only ever seen you in the ones you showed up with freshman year.”

Sid holds his foot out. “They’re Lanvin’s. Do you like them?”

“I barely know what that means,” Flower says with a laugh. “But they look good. You look good. Is he nice to you?”

Sid lowers the cup from his mouth. “What?”

“Is he nice,” Flower says slowly, “sometimes rich people act like assholes because they think they can just buy you something nice and that’ll make up for it.”

“Zhenya isn’t like that,” Sid says but the concern on Flower’s face doesn’t leave. “He’s not. He’s the best. He’d do anything for me. He’s sweet and funny and I don’t know, he’s perfect.”

“No one’s perfect, Sid,” Flower says. He looks back across the house where Zhenya is raising his arms in triumph while Tanger finally downs a cup of beer. “But I guess he’s okay,” he says.

“He is. I swear.”

“So how’d he get rich so quick? He’s not that much older than us, no? Trust fund baby? Or, he’s Russian, right? What do they call them over there, an oligarch? Is he an oligarch’s son?”

“Ummm.”

“Sid! Have to come watch,” Zhenya calls, voice booming over the music. “Finally kicking his ass.”

“That’s not true,” Tanger says as he picks up another cup, “that’s not true at all.”

“Is true,” Zhenya says and he holds out his arm as Sid gets close. Sid steps beneath it and Zhenya wraps it around his shoulders. “Want to show you,” Zhenya says against Sid’s temple. His breath is warm and smells like beer. “Watch,” he says as he picks up the ping pong ball. He sticks his tongue between his teeth and closes one eye as he throws the ball. It bounces off the rim of the cup and in. Zhenya yells and smacks a sloppy kiss to the side of Sid’s face while Tanger drinks.

“Don’t get cocky,” Tanger says and Zhenya ducks his head and whispers into Sid’s ear “exactly what I want to do.”

Sid chokes on his own drink then hands Zhenya’s over.

“Jack and Coke.”

“Best,” Zhenya says as he takes a sip.

“So, Geno,” Flower starts and Zhenya waves his cup at him.

“Tanger already give me shovel talk while you were gone. My intentions are to make Sid happy, will never hurt him, know you will all break my legs if I do.”

Sid gives Tanger a deadly glare as Flower says “I was actually going to ask you what you do for a living but it’s good Tanger already got to all that.”

“What I do for a living?”

“Yeah. Your job? Where you work? How you make your money?”

“Oh, sorry,” he says with a laugh. “Sometimes English is hard, you know? I work in law.”

“Like a lawyer.”

Zhenya takes a drink and shrugs never actually saying _yes._

“Aren’t you a little young for that?”

“I’m a….what to you call it? Someone very young but very good?”

“Prodigy,” Sid supplies and Zhenya snaps his fingers.

“Yes. That. Just worked hard and made it happen.”

“You wanted to be a lawyer when you were little?”

“Not everyone dreams to be astronaut or fireman,” he says with a little shake of Sid’s shoulders. “Some kids have funny dreams.”

“When I was little I wanted to be a Viking,” Patric says.

“You are a Viking,” Tanger answers and then says to Geno, “good for you for making your dreams come true. A lawyer is a pretty sweet gig. Think you can help me out if I ever get into some shit?”

Zhenya nods slowly. “Sure I could.”

“Great man, make sure I get your number before you leave. You never know when I’ll need it.” He claps his hands then points his finger at Sid. “Alright man, you’re up.”

Sid plays and Zhenya cheers him on until Carl and Phil make their way over and the round of introductions begin again.

Zhenya keeps the focus off of him and instead asks question after question. He wants to know about Patric’s plans to become a personal trainer and why Tanger wants to be an art teacher. When Carl tells him he’s thinking about becoming a hairdresser Zhenya puts on his most congenial smile and says “makes sense, nice hair.”

That charms Carl which in turn charms Patric and makes Tanger mumble under his breath _“why didn’t you say anything about my hair?”_

That makes Flower laugh and by the time Zhenya and Phil are snipping back and forth at each other about if the American hockey team could defeat the Russian team in the Olympics Sid feels perfectly relaxed.

“What do you think, Sid,” Zhenya says, “Phil’s crazy if he thinks America has a chance of beating Russia in hockey, yes?” Sid takes another drink and says “neither of them could beat Canada so what does it matter?”

Zhenya locks him into a bone crushing hug like that’s supposed to be some kind of punishment and Phil scowls while the rest of the guys laugh.

“Whatever,” Phil says, “I have a better wrist shot than both of you anyways.”

That’s how they end up on the back patio taking shots at a crushed up beer can with a broom that Tanger found hanging on the wall going down the stairs to the basement.

“This is dumb,” Phil says as he whiffs on the can for the second time. “It’s not a real puck and this isn’t a real stick so we can’t actually tell.”

“Just mad because you’re losing,” Zhenya sing-songs and leans back against the railing that Sid is sitting on.

Sid leans into him and when Zhenya tips his face up Sid kisses him.

He’s flushed from the alcohol and little sweaty from trying to hit a can with a broom hard enough to be impressive but he looks better than Sid has ever seen him. He looks happy and free, like the weight of the world, or at least the city, isn’t resting on his shoulders.

“Why’d you tell them you were a lawyer,” Sid whispers into his ear. To everyone else it still looks like they’re kissing and Sid drags his lips against his skin just for good measure.

“Kind of boring and complicated, usually people don’t want to talk,” Zhenya whispers back and sucks a kiss into the side of his neck.

“Get a room,” Carl says and Zhenya pulls back to press a kiss to Sid’s cheek.

“Should get a room,” Zhenya says and the heated look he gives him has Sid considering it.

“Holy shit,” Tanger whistles as he looks through the window, “look how tall that dude is.”

Everyone crowds around beside him except for Zhenya and when Sid looks inside the house he knows why.

Jamie’s height is unmistakable in the crowd as he walks down the stairs from the second floor. The Pirates cap on his head does absolutely nothing to help camouflage him. Sid knows from months of being chauffeured around by him that wherever Jamie is Ryan is close behind.

“He’s gotta be like, 6’9,” Phil says.

“No fucking way, that’s way too tall,” Carl snaps back, “I bet he’s 6’6.”

“Not tall enough.”

“Sid,” Tanger says as he turns around. “I dare you to go ask him.”

“Why me,” Sid answers but he doesn’t take his eyes off Zhenya who won’t take his eyes off the ground.

“Just think it’ll be funny,” Tanger answers.

“Hey, you okay?” Flower puts his hand on Sid’s elbow like he’s trying to steady him. Sid doesn’t need that but he does feel thrown off center all of the sudden.

“I’m fine. Just tired.”

“Getting old,” Tanger chirps as he takes his turn trying to hit the can.

“Maybe. I think we’re going to head out.”

Zhenya is off the railing immediately but it takes another few minutes of swapping phone numbers and goodbyes with the guys before they can actually leave.

Sid walks ahead of him and doesn’t look back until they’re out of the house and on the sidewalk.

“Want to get a car,” Zhenya says cautiously and Sid rolls his eyes.

“Why don’t you just tell me where they’re parked,” he says and Zhenya points up the street.

“One block that way.”

“Great,” Sid says sarcastically as he starts off.

Jamie is leaning against the car and as soon as he spots the two of them coming down the sidewalk he starts apologizing.

“Mr. Malkin, I’m sorry.”

“I told you to wait in the car,” Zhenya snaps and Sid throws open the back door.

“Don’t get mad at him,” he says, “it’s not his fault.”

“Told them to stay in the car. They weren’t supposed to be seen.”

“Like that would have made this so much better.”

“You wouldn’t have known,” Zhenya says and Sid glares before he climbs in.

From the backseat he hears Ryan say “I told you you’d get caught,” and Jamie answer, “I have to use the bathroom, I drank like, sevens cups of coffee, what do you want from me,” and Zhenya barks something sharp in Russian.

For the first time Zhenya stays to his own side of the seat instead of crowding against Sid. The distance between them is foreign and sprawling but Sid just presses himself further away from him.

“Sid,” Zhenya says and Sid shakes his head.

“I just wanted one night,” he says and the divider between the front and the back starts to roll up. “Just one night where we could be a normal couple. You’d just be my boyfriend and we’d drink and play beer pong and hang out with my friends. Like regular people. We could pretend that you’re not really who you are and you don’t do what you really do. Whatever that is.” He takes a deep breath. “It was going so well but seeing Jamie there brought it all back. This isn’t normal. It’s not going to be that way. You lying to me is really just an afterthought.”

“Sid,” Zhenya reaches for his hand across the seat but Sid holds it just out of reach. “I never meant-.”

“I know you didn’t. But you did. So.”

Zhenya’s face is in the shadows and Sid only gets a glimpse when they pass beneath a street light.

“What were they even doing there?”

“Just a precaution.”

“A precaution for what?”

Zhenya opens his mouth then snaps it shut and Sid sighs.

“You can’t tell me. What else is new?”

“Sid.”

“Please, don’t.” He pushes his forehead back against the glass. “I just want to go home.”

It’s another twenty minutes of silence until the car pulls up outside of Sid’s building.

Sid gets out then holds the door open behind him. Zhenya is still up against the other door and he sits there staring at him.

“Are you coming up or not?”

Zhenya blinks at him. “You want me?” “I want to go to sleep and I sleep better when you’re there. So if you want to come up-.”

Zhenya practically hurls himself out of the backseat. He trips over his feet and catches himself on the open door then brushes himself off and smiles down at Sid.

Sid gives him the smallest of smiles back.

Sid takes a shower, alone, and when he comes out Zhenya is waiting on the edge of the bed looking like he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

Sid runs the towel over his hair and says “you should take a shower. You smell like cheap beer.”

Zhenya pushes himself to his feet then carefully eases his way by Sid without touching him. Sid reaches out and hooks his finger through his belt loop and pulls him in.

“I’m sorry, Sid,” he says as he wraps his arms around Sid’s waist. “Don’t know what else to say.”

Sid pats his back then steps out of his arms. “Maybe you will someday.”

-

Flowers are delivered to the bar next day. Sid carries the huge bouquet of red roses back into the break room and stares at him while he eats his lunch.

“How badly did your boyfriend screw up,” one of the other bartenders asks.

“Pretty badly,” he answers.

She touches the petals on one of the blooms. “This make up for it?”

“I don’t know,” Sid answers honestly.

“Well he has very good taste,” she says. “I’d forgive him.”

Sid hums and thinks about the flowers and Zhenya for the rest of his shift.

When he gets out of work only Jamie and Ryan are waiting for him. Sid stops so quickly that he almost drops the vase on the pavement.

“Where is he? Is he okay?”

“He’s fine, Mr. Crosby,” Ryan says as he steps forward to take the flowers. “He had to work late is all.”

Sid is unconvinced and doesn’t let go of the vase. Unfortunately for him Ryan is a bit stronger and pries it from his hands.

“Honest. He’s probably back at the apartment by now and I know he’d like you join him if you’re up for it.”

“Really, Mr. Crosby, he’s fine,” Jamie adds as he opens the car door for him.

“I don’t believe either of you would tell me if he wasn’t.”

“You won’t be able to prove that because we’re telling you the truth.” Ryan hands the flowers back over and shuts the door.

Sid can hear the music from down the hall. It’s soft and jazzy and it gets louder as he gets closer to Zhenya’s door. Sid can’t dig his key out of his pocket when his arms of full of the roses so he settles for kicking his foot up against it instead.

When Zhenya opens the door only seconds later he’s dressed in a suit and the smell of freshly baked bread, butter, and seafood wafts out after him.

“What’s going on,” Sid asks and Zhenya gently takes him by the elbow and pulls him inside.

“Did you like the flowers,” Zhenya asks as he takes the vase, “wasn’t sure what kind to get you so I went with roses. Thought they were classic.” He sets the flowers down on the counter then lifts the lid off a pot on the stove. The steam curls up as the oven beeps. “Come, sit down. Dinner is almost done. Made you lobster bisque and bread bowls. Actually, had some help from bakery for the bread but I’m heating it up,” he says sheepishly. “Don’t want to rush you but the masseuses will be here in an hour and a half.”

“What are you doing,” Sid asks and Zhenya puts the lid back on the pot.

“Make you dinner,” he says cheerfully. “Going to have a nice, relaxing night. Make your favorite for dessert but we can eat that after our massage.”

“Zhenya.”

Zhenya’s smile slips off his face and he wipes his hands on the back of his pants.

“You know you didn’t have to do all of this,” Sid says. “The dinner and the flowers-.”

“Don’t like the flowers?”

Zhenya sounds genuinely disappointed and Sid shakes his head.

“No, no, that’s not what I mean. I love the flowers, they’re beautiful but all this….this doesn’t make it better. You can’t just buy your way out of it.”

“Don’t know what else to do.”

“Apologize. Say you’re sorry. That’s really all you need to do.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Zhenya says on a sigh.

“I know you didn’t mean to but you did and that’s not really an apology.”

“Not used to apologizing.”

“I don’t want you to get used to it.” Sid steps beside him and bumps their shoulders together like that’s going to shake the apology from him.

“I’m sorry,” Zhenya says. “Really, really sorry. Shouldn’t have lied to you. Was dumb.” He puts his hand on the side of Sid’s face. “Haven’t had an easy life, still don’t, but you make it better.” Sid presses his cheek into Zhenya’s palm. “You make it easier and I would do anything to make sure you’re safe and happy.”

“We were at a party. How unsafe was I?”

Zhenya kisses his forehead. “Worry like, old, Russian mother. Can never be too safe.”

-

Sid’s school work picks up by at least ninety percent in the middle of January. It makes Sid’s headache with stress and self doubt about whether or not he’s doing the right thing or simply throwing his money away.

It has him second guessing everything. He spends an entire night going back and forth about his future career path.

He loves sports and wants to get as close to it as possible but there’s something intriguing about the history books he’s pouring himself over.

He has no idea what to do.

Zhenya would tell him to follow his heart but Zhenya hasn’t replied to a text in three days.

To be fair, he warned Sid that might happen. Apparently _things_ are _heating up_ at _work_ and he’s going to be pulling some late nights.

Sid figures he can’t fault him for that but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t stop the loneliness from creeping in. He’s gotten so used to falling asleep with Zhenya beside him it takes hours to drift off at night.

Sid goes five days without hearing from Zhenya before he gives up and calls.

He paces on the sidewalk outside of the bar as Zhenya’s phone rings and rings. Finally an automated voice pops up telling him that the inbox is full.

He leans up against the wall and throws his head back. He’d give anything to talk to him. Barring that he’d take a good meal and a solid eight hours of sleep.

He’s going to be late for work if he stands out here any longer and he stretches his neck from side to side trying to work out any of the extra tension. When he drops his chin and looks across the street his eyes catch a man in all black.

He’s leaning out of the door of a beat up silver sedan and the street lamp is casting just enough light on him that Sid can recognize him. He’s the man from the bar that knew Sid’s last name and the one that made Zhenya so upset.

They stare at each other until the man nods once and ducks into the car. Sid stands on the sidewalk as it pulls out onto the street and slowly drive by. The windows are tinted so dark that Sid can’t see in but he has a feeling the man is looking out at him.

A moment later a second car pulls out from a few spots down and follows, not using their turn signal as they make the same left.

Sid shakes it off as a coincidence. Pittsburgh isn’t terribly big after all and if the man has been in the bar before it’s not hard to believe he’d be hanging around again. The man didn’t even say anything to him this time. He made no move to come into the bar or even get closer to Sid.

Sid shakes his head and taps out a text to Zhenya.

_Miss you._

It’s not until hours later when Sid checks his phone between breaks that he sees Zhenya’s reply.

_Pick you up from work tomorrow_

Sid sends back a string of exclamations points and hits send before he can feel embarrassed about it.

Zhenya texts back with the same amount of parentheses.

-

Knowing that he’s going to see Zhenya that night is what gets him through the following day.

Suddenly the lecture that the professor gives isn’t mind numbing and the bus that he takes from campus to the bar being ten minutes late doesn’t annoy him. The drunk customers and the absurdly rude customers are manageable because he knows that every minute that goes by is a minute closer to seeing Zhenya.

Sid steps out the door at 10:29.

Ryan and Jamie are standing at the front of the car and their heads turn sharply when the hear the door open. They don’t smile or move to greet him and Sid only spares a moment to think it’s odd because his focus is pulled to Zhenya.

Zhenya has his back to him and his phone pressed to his ear . He’s talking in a clipped tone and even though Sid can’t understand it he can tell it’s not good news and even if it was Sid would still want him to hang up. He’s so tired of being apart from him and it makes him want to pluck the phone from Zhenya’s hand and throw it across the parking lot.

Instead he puts both hands on Zhenya’s back and stretches up on his toes so he can whisper, _“hey,”_ into his ear.”

Zhenya flinches and turns around and Sid takes a step back in alarm.

“What happened to you?”

Zhenya’s face looks sore and swollen. It looks like he can’t open his left eye and his bottom lip is double the size it should be.

“Am fine, Sid.” He tries to shrug and it looks like it hurts. “Don’t worry.”

“Don’t worry? Look at your face.”

Zhenya waves a hand at him. His knuckles are bruised. “Please, can we get in the car?”

“Tell me what happened,” Sid says as Zhenya drops his phone into his pocket and puts his hand on Sid’s arm. Sid tries to shake him off. “Zhenya.”

“Sid,” Zhenya snaps and Sid goes still. “Please get in the car,” he grits out as his eyes dart around the parking lot, to the street, and back again. “Please.”

Jamie hand Ryan have come around to their side and they look like they’re prepared to physically pick him up and put him in the back seat if he doesn’t go on his own.

Sid looks back at Zhenya and his heart clenches at the way shadows cover his face making him look even more bruised and battered.

“You’re going to talk to me,” Sid says as Zhenya opens the door for him and ushers him inside.

Jamie pulls out of the parking lot and onto the street with enough speed that Sid has to press himself against the door so he doesn’t fall onto Zhenya’s lap.

Zhenya has his face tilted away from him but as soon as Jamie gets the car out of the turn he’s sliding over and tipping Zhenya’s face towards his.

“Tell me what happened?” “Disagreement,” he says blandly as he lifts his chin out of Sid’s hand.

“Disagreement where? At work,” Sid asks and Zhenya nods. “You know when people have a disagreement at work they usually bring it up with HR, they don’t get their asses kicked over it.”

“Didn’t get my ass kicked,” Zhenya mumbles. “Took care of it. Everything is fine now.”

“It’s not fine,” Sid yells and scrubs his hands over his face. Zhenya is being so calm about this and Sid cannot understand it. “Does this happen a lot? And where the hell were Jamie and Ryan? They’re supposed to be protecting you.”

“Can protect myself.”

Sid stares at the blood trickling from the corner of his mouth and the bruise beneath his eye and scoffs. “Obviously not.”

“I can. It could have been-.” He cuts himself off with a wince.

“It could have been what? A lot worse? It could have been worse than this?”

“Can always be worse, Sid.”

“How?”

“If I am still alive then it’s not so bad.”

Sid gapes at him then bangs on the front divider. “Take me home,” he says as the divider rolls down.

Ryan turns halfway around and Zhenya shakes his head.

“Take me home,” Sid says as he leans into the open window. “Right now or I swear to god I will get out at the next red light and walk.” He turns back to look at Zhenya. “Those are your choices.”

Zhenya stares at him, his expression unreadable beneath the scrapes and the bruising and finally his gaze shifts away and he nods to Ryan. The divider rolls up as Jamie makes a U-turn.

“Is not usually like this,” Zhenya says. He’s flexing his hands against his thigh. “Usually lots of meetings and paperwork. Boring.”

“You expect me to believe that being in the mob is boring?”

Zhenya looks up, eyes wide and busted lips parted.

Sid feels a little breathless in return.

Neither of them have ever said the _M_ word before. Sid doesn’t even know for sure that’s what’s happening but at this point all other options seem impossible.

Sid knows that if Zhenya had his way they’d never discuss this. By right now, in the backseat of a speeding car with his boyfriend bleeding next to him Sid is going to talk about it.

“Don’t even try to deny it.

“Not _in_ the mob, Sid.” Zhenya winces as he tries to straighten his tie. He clears his throat and straightens out the collar of his shirt. “I run it.” He stares Sid down. “You think I could do all this if I was just a part of it? You think I’m that unimportant?”

“I don’t think anything. I don’t even know you.”

Zhenya’s face and tone softens. “You know everything about me.”

“I know nothing,” Sid shouts. “I have been in love with you for months and this is the first time you can admit to me what it is you do?”

“You don’t need to know. This is for the best.”

“For how long? How many times are you going to come home looking like this? What do you expect me to do, just ignore it? What am I supposed to tell my friends? Sorry, my _lawyer_ boyfriend can’t come out to dinner tonight because his face was broken by his coworker, yeah, I know it sounds crazy but oh well. Don’t ask any follow up questions, thanks,” he says sarcastically and Zhenya rolls his eyes. “What about my family?”

“What about your family,” Zhenya says and Sid makes a wounded noise.

“Where do you think this is going? What do you think our future is going to be like? Do you even think we’ll have one?”

“So many questions, Sid,” Zhenya says as he rubs at his temples. “Can we talk later? Am tired.”

“Yeah,” Sid says faintly. “So am I.”

They’re quiet the rest of the way to Sid’s apartment. They both stay to their own separate sides of the car looking out their own windows at the street lights and office buildings that fly by.

Jamie doesn’t even have the car in park before Sid is opening the door to get out. Zhenya tries to follow him but Sid blocks his way and puts his hand out.

“No,” Sid says. “You need to go home. I need some time to think about this.”

“What’s there to think about?”

“All of it. I thought….” Sid pauses and takes a deep breath. “I thought it would be better not knowing what you really did. It’s like a I could convince myself that it really couldn't be that dangerous but now…” He trails off. “Now I know. I think maybe we want different things. I want more than this.”

“Would give you anything, Sid.”

“Then quit. Just say fuck it and let's take off somewhere. I don’t even care where. Just you and me. We’ll figure it out.”

“Can’t,” Zhenya says and Sid shakes his head.

“That’s it then.”

Zhenya shifts forward on the seat and reaches out for him. Sid lets him curl a hand around his hip as he says “so many things you don’t understand about this.”

Sid puts his hand on the side of his face and Zhenya leans in to rest his forehead on Sid’s chest.

“Don’t want to lose you,” he says and Sid pets his hair.

“I need some time to think. I need a few days. Can you give me that?”

“Already told you.” Zhenya lifts his head. “Would give you anything.”

-

“Where the fuck is Geno,” Tanger says as he opens the door to his and Flower’s apartment. “I invited you because I thought he’d be coming. I’d love to kick his ass at beer pong and video games.”

Flower is already half way through a piece of pizza behind him and asks “is he working,” with his mouth full.

“Probably,” Sid says as he takes off his coat. “We’re taking some time apart.”

Flower freezes with the pizza halfway to his mouth and Tanger whirls around with his eyebrows raised. “I’m fine,” he adds.

“What the fuck happened,” Tanger yells while Flower goes for a softer, “are you really okay?”

“Do I have to kick his ass,” Tanger asks before Sid can answer. “He’s bigger than me but I’ll do it.”

“I really am fine,” Sid says to Flower, “and it was my idea.”

“What happened,” Tanger asks again and Sid shrugs.

“Nothing. A lot of things.”

Tanger huffs and turns back around like he’s annoyed that he’s not getting a good answer. Sid’s annoyed he doesn’t have a good one to give him.

“I don’t know,” Sid says. “I had plans for the future that he didn’t share, I guess.”

“But he seemed so crazy about you.”

“You can love someone and still not have it work out. We’re both really busy with different things right now,” he says vaguely. “We’re just taking some time. It’s not a break up. I have to figure things out.”

“How’s that going?”

Sid blows out a breath. “Not well.”

It’s been one week and Sid is no closer to sorting out his feelings than he was when he left Zhenya with a soft kiss outside his apartment building. Sid didn’t stick around to watch the car drive off and they haven’t spoken since then. Not one call or text even though Sid has picked up the phone dozens of times with the intent to.

He tells himself that just one text with help him cure the loneliness he feels or shake the disappointment that flashes through him when he leaves work and doesn't see Zhenya there waiting for him.

“It’ll work out,” Flower says at the same time Tanger says “we should go out.”

“I don’t want to go out,” Sid answers. “I want to stay in and eat too much pizza and watch you two play Call Of Duty while I watch from the couch.”

Tanger shakes his head. “We have to go out, get you drunk, and get you a rebound.”

“I don’t need a rebound, we didn’t break up. We’re on a break.”

“Okay, _Rachel,”_ Tanger says with a roll of his eyes.

“I really don’t want to talk about it anymore, you guys. I came here to get my mind off of it. I’m been driving myself crazy.” He flips open the pizza box and grabs a slice.

Sid goes home around ten thirty.

He’s full of six slices and three beers and he declines Flower’s offer to stay over and sleep on the couch.

“Your couch is fifty years old and smells like garbage.”

“That must be why we got such a great price on it,” Tanger says as he clicks at the controller in his hand.

“You got it for free off the side of the road.”

“An amazing price,” Tanger responds as Flower walks Sid to the door.

“You sure you’re okay,” Flower asks before he opens it.

“I’m fine. I’ve told you that a million times tonight.”

“Yeah but I didn’t actually believe it.

“It is what it is,” Sid says softly. “I’ll be fine..”

Flower doesn’t look like he believes that either.

The first breath Sid takes when he gets out of the apartment makes his lungs hurt. It’s four blocks to the bus stop as he pulls his jacket tighter around his body and burrows his hands into his pockets.

He’s so focused on the cold and the loneliness he feels about going home to an empty apartment that he doesn’t notice the footsteps coming up behind him until they’re only a half a step back.

He steps to the side to let them pass when something hard is jammed into his side. He looks up in alarm and comes face to face with the man from the bar.

“Mr. Crosby,” he says and makes a show of glancing down between them. There is a gun pressed into his ribs. “I think you should come with me,” he says, “we have a lot to discuss.”

Sid looks down at the gun and then up at the man again. Sid is younger and stronger than him. If he’s quick enough he could possibly-.

“Oh, Mr. Crosby,” the man clucks. “That is a bad idea.”

Sid takes one step back before someone is grabbing him. It’s like slow motion as the man raises the gun and pulls it back. Sid closes his eyes and braces himself.

It still hurts like hell when the gun connects with the side of his face.

-

Sid wakes up in a dimly lit warehouse with a throbbing in his temple.

His mouth tastes like blood and he’s tied to a chair. His hands are bound behind his back, zip ties cutting into his skin as he twists them trying to get free.

“Oh good,” a voice says. Sid looks up and watches the man step out from the shadows. He’s still holding the gun. “Worry I hit you too hard. Would be a shame for you to die before we were properly introduced. Am Yury,” he says and sticks his free hand out. He catches himself and points at his open palm with the barrel of his gun and laughs. “Look at me. Trying to shake your hand. I wasn’t the one who tied you up so please forgive me.”

Sid scans the perimeter of the light for more bodies. He can’t see a thing in the pitch black and decides it doesn’t really matter. Even if it was only Yury he is still tied to a chair and defenseless.

“You’re making a mistake.” Sid slurs his words and he slowly shakes his head like that’s going to clear them up. All it does is make his head hurt even more. “Do you have any idea who my boyfriend is?”

“Do you? Do you have any idea what kind of man he is? How many men he’s had killed. How many men he has killed. Those men had families too, you know. Wives and children.” He gives Sid a long look. “Suppose it’s possible some of them had boyfriends. They must have been a bit more discreet about it. No mercy for any of them. A killer. That is the man you love?”

Sid blinks at him. There is blood dripping into the corner of his eye and Yury scoffs.

“Stupid boy. You are both so stupid but everyone here acts as though Evgeni is god’s gift. He knows nothing. You know you are not his first love,” he says like the words are supposed to be a dagger to Sid’s heart. “You should have seen the women that have come before you. They were perfect. Smart and beautiful and accomplished. Anyone of them would have made a perfect wife and for some reason he seems content to settle for you. A bartender from Canada. Everything Evgeni does is misguided. He is too young for this. Ivan was crazy to give him the job,” Yury mumbles to himself. “Do you know how long I worked for that man? I gave him everything, years of my life devoted to him and he overlooks me for some kid who used to wash his dishes.” Yury shouts and waves the gun around. Sid keeps frantically twisting the zip ties behind his back. “And now I am nothing. I am stuck following orders from a man that is more than half my age. It’s embarrassing and degrading and I deserved more. I will have more,” he says with a sick smile. “Evgeni took my future from me.” He holds the gun against Sid’s temple. “And now I will take his. Evgeni will find you here and he will know exactly what I think of him. It’s a message he won’t be able to ignore.” He puts his finger on the trigger and Sid’s mind races from his childhood dog to his parents to his sister, Flower and Tanger and the rest of his friends and finally to Zhenya. He loved them all. It’s all he could do.

Suddenly the warehouse is flooded with light.

He’s blinded by it and can just barely catch the shapes of dozens of men dressed in black as he squints against the glare.

 _“Freeze, FBI,”_ they yell, _“drop your weapon, hands up, on the ground.”_

They circle around Sid and Yury, guns drawn and with a dramatic roll of his eyes Yury slowly lowers his and puts his hands up.

As soon as the gun hits the ground he’s crowded by agents who push him to the ground and put him in handcuffs.

In the flurry of activity Sid is almost an afterthought, still tied to the chair and bleeding until someone calls his name.

He looks up and spots Zhenya pushing his way through the agents.

He’s wearing an FBI issued bullet proof vest over his suit and when he sees Sid he slides the handgun he’s holding into the holster at his hip and and runs over.

“Sid,” he breathes out as he gently cradles his jaw in his large hands. The bruises on Zhenya’s face have faded from black to a sickly purple but he is the best thing Sid has ever seen. “Sid, you okay? Can hear me?”

“Zhenya?”

Zhenya nods as his fingertips skirt around the wound on his temple and Sid winces.

“Sorry,” Zhenya says, “so sorry, going to get you out of here, going to keep you safe. Reaves,” he calls out and over Zhenya’s shoulder Ryan appears in the same vest Zhenya has on.

“Mr. Crosby,” he says as he crouches down behind Sid and cuts his hands free.

“Just Sid is fine,” he answers back and Ryan gives him a smile as Zhenya brings his wrists up to his lips.

He presses a kiss to each one with his eyes closed. “So sorry,” he says, “I am so sorry.”

“I don’t understand,” Sid says. “I don’t get it.”

“Going to tell you everything,” Zhenya promises. “First have to make sure you’re okay. Going to get you checked out and then we will talk, okay?”

Sid lets Zhenya helps him up and on their way out of the warehouse they pass dozens and dozens of agents with handcuffed men at their feet.

Jamie is standing by the door with a handheld radio pressed to his ear. He meets Sid’s eye from underneath the brim of his FBI cap and nods.

Sid nods back and leans into Zhenya’s hand resting on the small of his back.

-

Sid is medically cleared and questioned by two FBI agents before he’s cleared to go home.

Zhenya is waiting for him outside the tiny office. He’s ditched the vest and his arms are crossed over a wrinkled button down shirt.

He smiles when he sees Sid but it doesn’t seem to meet his eyes which look even more tired than usually. Sid understands how he feels and when he gets close enough to him he sags against his body.

“Going to take you home,” Zhenya says as he wraps his arms around his shoulders.

“Your place,” Sid says. “Can we go back to your place?” Zhenya kisses the side of his head. “Home.”

Sid waits on Zhenya’s couch as Zhenya gets a bottle of water out of the fridge and two pain pills to help with his head.

“Feeling better,” he asks as Sid swallows the pills. He sits down on the coffee table in front of him and rubs his palms against his thighs. “Can get some sleep first if you want. Will be right here in the morning to talk.”

Sid sets the bottle of water down on the table. “You’re going to tell me everything now.”

Zhenya sighs and starts from the beginning.

“Never got along with my parents, didn’t fit in at school so I left when I was fifteen. Run away to America like that’s going to solve all my problems. Not hard to get in trouble when you don’t care what happens to you. Get in _big_ trouble. Is how I meet Agent Gonchar. Sergei says he can help me if I help him. If not, I’m going to jail for a very long time. Back then I think I’m so tough but jail….” Zhenya takes a deep breath. “Scary. Was only sixteen. He says it will be easy. Going to get me a job at a restaurant washing dishes. Put a wire on me, keep my head down, don’t listen, don’t talk, just be. Will be done in a week. But then one week is two and three because no one says what they want to hear in front of me. But the boss, Ivan, he starts to trust me. Go from washing dishes to waiting tables to helping out the chef.”

“That’s how you learned how to cook,” Sid says and Zhenya smiles sadly.

“I work my way up. FBI realizes this organization is bigger than they thought and want to keep me in. I think maybe I can do some good here after all the trouble I caused when I was younger so I agree. They take the wire off me and tell me to just live. This is my life now, I only know what the family tells me. I go where they go and when they tell me to. Treat me very well. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that this is all a job and someday I will have to betray all of them. They send me on vacations and I spend most of my time in DC telling Sergei all their secrets. Was working under Ivan for six years before he retires. He trusts me by then and likes that I’m young enough to keep the job for a long time. So he puts me in charge. I think this is it, this can finally end but Sergei wants more and there is so much more to give. This thing, this organization,” he says as he taps his finger against Sid’s knee. “So deep. Government officials and cops and judges. Different families up and down the coast. Everyone is connected, everyone has their own secrets. Seems like the work will never be done.”

“What about Jamie and Ryan?”

“The only agents here with me. I hired them after I got the job from Ivan. Feds think I need people to help keep me safe,” he says with a roll of his eyes. “Was nice having someone I could trust though.”

“What does Yury have to do with it? Why did he come after me?”

“He always hated me. He hated how close I was to Ivan and he was jealous I got the job over him. He’s always been trying to get back at me and I think he thought the easiest way was to go after you.” Zhenya smooths his hands over Sid’s knees. “He was right.”

Sid covers Zhenya’s hands with his own. “How’d you find me?”

“GPS in your phone.”

“You put a tracking device in my phone?”

“After you told me about Yury in the bar I had it activated. Was easy to do while you were asleep but I never used it before tonight, I swear.”

“Was Yury the one that did this,” Sid asks as he gently touches the scars on Zhenya’s knuckles.

“Not him but people that are loyal to him. There’s been a divide for awhile now. Tried to keep you out of it. That’s why we stopped going out; you were safer in my apartment than anywhere else. I thought I could take care of it. Never meant for this to happen. You were never part of the plan.”

Sid ducks his head but Zhenya hooks a finger beneath his chin and brings his face back up to meet his.

“Perfect though. You made all of this worth it. All of the years I spent away from my home living a second life….I would do it all again if it meant I could just see you again working in the bar that night we met. Just for that one moment. I have loved you since the moment I saw you.”

“You’re being charming again.”

“Always charming,” Zhenya says. “Always love you.” He chews on his bottom lip for a moment. “After all this, all the lies and pain, you still love me?”

Sid doesn’t know what he wants to do with the rest of his life. He doesn't know what he’s going to do with his degree or how long he can stand being a bartender before it breaks him. He doesn’t know if he wants to stay in Pittsburgh or move home or somewhere completely different.

Nothing is decided in his life except for the way he feels about Zhenya.

Sid leans forward and presses their foreheads together. "I love you," he says and Zhenya laughs wetly before Sid kisses him.

-

Winter won’t seem to let Pittsburgh out of it’s grasp.

It’s mid-April and the chill is still in the air and the city is still a dull grey.

Zhenya went back to D.C seven weeks ago. That’s certainly not helping anything.

He had to go back to help prepare for the trial. There’s supposedly a mountain of paperwork he needs to complete before things can begin and there are personal hang ups as well.

“Spend so long living someone else's life,” he told Sid on the morning he left. “now I get to have my own. I can be my own person, I just have to figure out who that is.”

Sid understood. He _understands._ Zhenya promised he’d come back but he hasn’t heard from him in weeks. There’s a chance that whoever Zhenya is now it’s not the same person that loved him so fiercely.

 _As long as he’s happy,_ Sid thinks. _He deserves to be happy._

But then finally, at eleven thirty on a Wednesday night Sid steps out the door of the bar and Zhenya is standing there waiting for him like no time has passed. 

He's alone and leaning up against an SUV instead of a town car. When he smiles it's wide and warm. 

"Usually don't work so late on Wednesdays," he says as Sid crosses the parking lot to him. 

"You could have come in."

Zhenya shrugs but doesn't take his eyes off Sid. "Nice night."

"No drivers tonight?"

"Turns out I can drive myself. Drove all the way here from Washington. Didn't have dinner so I was wondering...." 

"I know a place," Sid says. "It's only three blocks away. We could walk."  Sid steps up and stands toe to toe with him. 

"Really good french toast," Sid continues, "and home fries." 

"With lots of ketchup," Zhenya says and Sid has to blink quickly to hide the tears that well up in his eyes. Zhenya reaches out to brush away the ones that manage to fall. "Was thinking afterwards maybe you and me get out of here. Spend some time together outside the city. Maybe go somewhere warm. Don't want to be too forward but-."

Sid nods. "I hear Miami is nice."

"It is," Zhenya agrees. "Beautiful beaches, nice nightlife."

Sid scrunches up his nose.

"Wonderful hotels," Zhenya amends. "Very relaxing. Can be very quiet and private. You maybe want to go with me?"

"I'd go anywhere with you," Sid answers as Zhenya pulls him into his arms. Sid rests his ear over Zhenya's heart and listens to the steady rhythm. 

He would go anywhere with Zhenya but right now, this is the only place he wants to be. 

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is [ here](https://secret-sidgeno-writer.tumblr.com/)


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